“My swimming coach tries to flirt with me”

Query: My swimming coach tries to flirt with me and I feel like flirting back every time he tries to make advances. I think I like him but I’m already married. What should I do?

Response by Aashmeen Munjaal: It is important for you to know what do you really want: do you want to fulfil the commitment of the marriage you’re in, or do you want to have a fling and mess up the stable marital relationship that you have?

It is important for yourself to determine what is it that you do want: Do you want to have a fling and not have your husband find out, or do you want to have a committed, loving marital relationship…choose your priority.

I would suggest you write down what is it that you truly want rather than flowing with your thoughts: as you may have thousands of thoughts in a day. So it is important to sit down and write what is it that you really do want. If you want a loyal loving relationship with your husband, despite the external distractions – write that down! The more you write about loyalty towards your husband and marital life- you will be making it more concrete, feasible and loyal.

However If you are talking, even if as a joke or gossip amongst yourself or with your friends about how you like your swimming coach, or how he flirts with you, the more you are creating it in reality. If you consciously choose to not talk about what you don’t want – you will remove that from happening in your life.

Be careful and you can write about your loving relationship with your husband; talk about your wonderful relationship with your husband, you could create audio notes of your wonderful relationship with him, you can even create a vision board using photos of loving times with him and have them as your wallpaper, desktop,

On the study desk – and have them be a reminder of the wonderful, romantic, loving relationship you have with your partner; and it will also loosen the grip of unwanted drifting thoughts in your mind and make you focused on what you do want!

Ontologist and Relationship Expert Aashmeen Munjaal, founder Shukrana Gratitude Foundation.

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